{"id":524,"date":"2010-11-16T10:45:00","date_gmt":"2010-11-16T14:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/66.147.244.61\/~twisithe\/?p=524"},"modified":"2023-07-10T18:27:04","modified_gmt":"2023-07-10T21:27:04","slug":"live-blog-3-exhaustion-and-delirium","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.twisitheatreblog.com\/?p=524","title":{"rendered":"Live Blog #3: Exhaustion and Delirium"},"content":{"rendered":"
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kevin sorbo and pat thornton<\/div>\n
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Okay peeps, it is 3am and this is the start of LIVE BLOG #3. For three am the crowd in here is pretty solid. Time for Fuzzy Peaches! Pat, when he can\u2019t read the joke on the first try: \u201cFuck. Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What time is it?\u201d We\u2019re getting a lot of Shitty the Riddler jokes… and some Transformers 3 jokes as well. And Kevin Sarbo is still starring. <\/div>\n
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Time for some SNAPS! Forward by Quincy Jones- wild. Which Chapters do we want? Poor snaps or teeth snaps? By claps. It\u2019s Pretty close. \u201cWe\u2019re going to read all the snaps guys.\u201d Steve Fisher is sleepy. Pat is explaining these snaps to an unresponsive crowd. Are we that sleepy? Or are they just not funny? \u201cThat\u2019s all the teeth snaps, they suck.\u201d Someone on twitter made a cartoon of Mustard Andrew! Awesome!<\/div>\n
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Sometimes we\u2019re just laughing at the one dude who is laughing at the joke. But that\u2019s kind of joyful and lovely in its own way too. \u201cHey I was thinking… (silence)\u201d- The Wizard of Pause. \u201cWait up, guys, this mask doesn\u2019t have eyeholes!\u201d- Shitty the Riddler. \u201cYeah I know my teeth are yellow, what are you stupid?!\u201d- Mustard Andrew. YEAH. <\/div>\n
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Ripple me, chips! I love jokes referencing jokes from six hours ago. Wood Puss is back. Now introducing Shitty and Titty the Fiddler. \u201cTransformers Free?\u201d I love the anticipation of everyone knowing the punch line. Kevin Sorbo. \u201cHow can you get Kevin Sorbo to leave a Coffee Time? … If you know, give me a call.\u201d Good job, Internet, says Pat. The best is still when Pat laughs at the jokes. Especially when he has to stop reading them to compose himself. #Joy. Pat just did all the jokes on his chair, then tried his pop can (empty) and now for some poor snaps.<\/div>\n
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Your father\u2019s so poor, he can\u2019t afford to pay attention. Your family is so poor you\u2019re whole family goes trick or treating on Thanksgiving. What? That\u2019s just stupid! That\u2019s not a poor thing, it\u2019s just on the wrong day! \u201cI think Kevin Sorbo is the next big thing\u201d- Shitty Bette Midler. We\u2019re all dying from laughter from a Hook reference Kevin Sorbo joke. I just giggled just because Pat said Piddler. Hair Snaps. Not memorable enough to mention. <\/div>\n
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The Wings Beneath My Wings: Hits of Bette Midler. Just a fact. That\u2019s okay. Pat says: \u201cYou can just write down things you know. I just need to say stuff. I don\u2019t know everyone\u2019s middle names here… we could do that.\u201d Transformers III: Rob Ford eats a lesbian on a bike<\/em>. WHAT!?!?? \u201cCan I get more crackers?\u201d Pat cracks up. \u201cNo, you didn\u2019t order anything.\u201d- Kevin Sorbo trying to get free crackers at Tim Horton\u2019s. He\u2019s still laughing. <\/div>\n
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\u201cMy middle name is Wonderwoman\u201d- Shitty the Riddler. I think we\u2019re all delirious. 2011 Pat does 24 hours of Stand Up to raise money for Kevin Sorbo. Molly online wants a 5 minute Kevin Sorbo monologue. We have to agree on a price first. \u201cI\u2019m not Kevin Sorbo, if I was I\u2019d just eat this paper and go home, and by home I mean just outside I guess.\u201d Pat\u2019s $25.00 away from his goal!!!! It\u2019s 3:52am. The jokes are literally coming in one at a time at this point. We want to hear from Quincy Jones.<\/div>\n
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Pat reads to us from Quincy Jones’ Forward from the Snap book. Quincy is talking about Griots<\/a>. Did Quincy Jones make up Griot? Pat wants to know. Because he uses it a lot. “Every time a Griot died it was like another library burning down.” Please don\u2019t let the Griots die. There were instances of Griots who traveled with troubadours. Talking about Yo\u2019 Mama comes from slavery. Insulting your momma was intended to make you feel like the Dirty Dozen, the lowest of the slaves. 10 HOURS. Okay— says Pat, \u201cwhat\u2019s happening with these Griots!?!?\u201d <\/div>\n
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PAT JUST MET HIS GOAL AND WANTS WATER. It is 3:58am. He was pushed over by Internet Molly. Chants of NEW GOAL NEW GOAL. The NEW GOAL IS 10,000. (DONATE HERE<\/a>) YAY FOR PAT- seriously- someone just screamed that. DANCE PARTY!!!! I\u2019m already fantasying about breakfast. 5 minute Sorbo monologue. He\u2019s just a beefcake with a dream when he moved to LA. He watched a lot of Three Stooges while working on Hercules<\/em>. Mark is playing very dream like epic movie music which is swelling dramatically under the monologue. Pat is just making stuff up; Sorbo bought all sorts of expensive stuff and then threw it out. Including his jewelled jeans. It got rough for him. He moved into his brother, Mike Sorbo\u2019s, place, and started doing a lot of drugs, like 80 or 90 Children\u2019s Asprin a day. So he lived in a van for a bit- with no wheels- and he let it get wet\u2014sorry- he lived in a box, but he wrote VAN on the side of it so that the cops, who are all scientists, would leave him alone. He was eating garbage, the whole time, really, but now he\u2019s racing snakes to garbage cans, he\u2019s just trying to get a snack- but he can\u2019t fucking do it. Just can\u2019t fucking do it, man.<\/div>\n
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\u201cWhat\u2019s my recipe? I just put some salt in this puddle.\u201d- Kevin Sorbo expecting has company. Every time a Griot dies, Kevin Sorbo tries to eat their stories. HA. \u201cDo I know how to spin some bullshit about Griots or do I know how to spin some bullshit about Griots?!\u201d- Quincy Jones. You\u2019re in the WOODS, Q. Jay. Do you think anyone calls him that? Asks Pat, Q. Jay? \u201cCan you autograph my copy of Can\u2019t Hardly Wait<\/em>? I licked off the first autograph.\u201d Kevin Sorbo to Seth Green. \u201cI\u2019m still alone out here!\u201d- blind kid. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Let\u2019s save that blind kid. Let\u2019s make that our goal for the end, says Pat.<\/div>\n
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\u201cThis is either a shovel or a big spoon\u201d- Shitty the Bob the Builder.\u201d I smell pastries what\u2019s going on down there\u201d- Sorbs. This is only funny if you know that about an hour ago Pat was eating a pastry. Oh, and he just said, \u201cSuck on that, Q Jay.\u201d <\/div>\n
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\u201cHey guys did you see me on Dexter<\/em>?\u201d- Kevin Sorbo talking in his sleep. We are all laughing until we collectively choked about a free Tibet joke- \u201cIf you have a sign saying \u201cFree Tibet, don\u2019t get mad that people are coming around looking to eat a Tibet.\u201d Seriously, this audience is dying of laughter. Crying. Stomping. At jokes that barely make sense. Hyper sleep deprivation, it\u2019s like a jokefest slumber party where everything is hysterical just because it is 4:00am. Best. Best. Best. \u201cSomebody complains about bedbugs, I\u2019m just glad someone is paying attention to me\u201d- Kevin Sorbo. To Candyland from Kevin Sorbo: \u201cTell me how to get there for reals.\u201d <\/div>\n
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Are we talking about the Cheese Twenty Griots!? YES. AWE.SOME. Sorbs and Snipes. Oh, those men. Waylen just turned to me after Pat said \u201cHow many pubes can I get for a loincloth\u201d and said, \u201cReally? This is what you\u2019re doing with your life now?\u201d Waylen should be writing jokes. <\/div>\n
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Funniest Jokes in the World<\/em> by Amelia. Construction paper title page with staples<\/div>\n
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Knock Knock. Who\u2019s there? Ben and Doris. Ben and Doris Who? Been knocking all morning and the door is stuck.<\/div>\n
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Knock knock. Who\u2019s there? Dog. Dog who? Dog I don\u2019t see you. <\/div>\n
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Knock knock. Who\u2019s there? Pumpkin? Pumpkin who? What?<\/div>\n
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Knock Knock. Who\u2019s there? Trash can. Trash can who? I put my house in a trash can. PAT: I hope Sorbo finds that trash can, because he could really use that house. <\/div>\n
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The snake beats Sorbo to the house. The snake always wins. <\/div>\n
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Knock Knock. Who\u2019s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange I see you.<\/div>\n
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These are the jokes that make you fall down. Golf claps. <\/div>\n
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\u201cExcuse me, ma\u2019am did you just take a picture of me shitting in a garbage can? That\u2019ll be 20 dollars.\u201d- Sorbo. <\/div>\n
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\u201cYa\u2019ll Gonna Make Me Sound Like Wind\u201d- Sound Eff DMX-<\/div>\n
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\u201cYa\u2019ll gonna make me lose my land line?\u201d- Shitty telephone reception DMX<\/div>\n
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I am dreaming of breakfast. It is 4:40am. \u201cI can\u2019t believe I didn\u2019t get invited to that snake\u2019s house warming party!\u201d- Sorbo, ladies and gentleman! He\u2019s having a rough one tonight. \u201cHey kid, it\u2019s me Kevin Sorbo, in the bushes, I\u2019m going to need you to get me some clothes and some food and some (cracks up) some auditions.\u201d Crowd looses their minds. Pat would like to see that scene in a movie. <\/div>\n
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Mark, from the booth, delighted, \u201cHey buddy. Kevin Sorbo is now trending on twitter. (laughs, even more delighted), and I updated his Wiki page<\/a>…\u201d There are drunk people out at the bar yelling their reactions to the jokes too- which don\u2019t entirely make sense to me. Waylen thinks that there should be duelling fundraisers- one in the theatre and one at the bar. Could be an idea for next year. WOW. Pat\u2019s 24 Hour Stand Up is trending on Twitter WORLDWIDE. It\u2019s #7 is Canada. Pat says to this, \u201cThat\u2019s hot.\u201d He\u2019s Paris Hilton all of a sudden- that\u2019s what happens when you become famous.<\/div>\n
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\u201cI\u2019m taking the red eye to LA. That\u2019s my slang for \u201ccrawling over to that thing that might be a cheezie.\u201d- Sorbo. <\/div>\n
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11 hours. Wow. An hour away from halfway. Pat seems thrilled.<\/div>\n
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Steve Fisher to me at 5am: You still gonna be here at noon? Me: (dazed) Uhuh. I can\u2019t wait to see him in seven hours just because I am curious what state of delirium I will be in by then. <\/div>\n
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Winnie the Pooh Fanfiction. Written by Pat Thornton. The Rainy Day<\/em>. Pat offers to drive Winnie the Pooh to The Thinking Place in his zipcar, which he thinks is wicked. They meet Piglet and go to Wendy\u2019s and to the movies, but Piglet can\u2019t go to the movie because it\u2019s in 3D and that makes him dizzy. Awwww. Then he went swimming with some different friends. The End. <\/div>\n
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Boston Pizza is in the woods!! OH!!!!! This joke takes place at a gambling casino… just to narrow it down… I love that the jokes from the published joke books are worse than the ones from the exhausted audience members who have been awake all night… what does that say about the state of comedy in Canada? <\/div>\n
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My favourite moment of the night so far- Biker looking dude at the bar eating nachos, not paying any attention to the monitor or to Pat… quietly to himself: \u201c… Kevin Sorbo.\u201d<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

kevin sorbo and pat thornton Okay peeps, it is 3am<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4673],"tags":[3320,4131,4132,6222,3509],"class_list":["post-524","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-article","tag-comedy","tag-comedy-bar","tag-pat-thornton","tag-pat-thorntons-24-hour-stand-up-show","tag-stand-up-comedy"],"yoast_head":"\nLive Blog #3: Exhaustion and Delirium - The Way I See It Theatre & Music Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.twisitheatreblog.com\/?p=524\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Live Blog #3: Exhaustion and Delirium - 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